Episode 46: How Physical Pain Causes Mental Pain

In this episode,

Lizzie explains the many ways that physical pain can cause emotional distress and how you can take proactive steps to protect your mental health.

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Post-pod questions to consider

What are some coping mechanisms you use that don't rely on mobility or physical exertion?

Episode Transcript

Hey, you're listening to Midnight Philosopher with Lizzie. Thanks for tuning in. 

Today, I'm going to talk about how physical pain can impact your mental health. Physical pain and emotional pain light up the same part of your brain. This became apparent during studies of people's brains who had opioid substance use disorder. At the end of the day, that means that pain is pain, and that physical pain impacts emotional pain and vice versa. 

Sometimes physical pain can limit you from doing activities that help your mental health. If you have an injured leg, you might not be able to play basketball, which you used to do every week and was the highlight of your week. If you have bad arthritis in your hands, you might not be able to draw, which was one of your main coping skills. 

Additionally, physical pain might lower your ability to effectively communicate with others. You might find that you feel more irritable towards other people and their quirks, or you might find that you feel sad because other people don't seem to understand just how much pain you're in. 

Additionally, taking care of your body is a basic need. Sleeping, eating, moving your body and taking medication all fall into this category. When you're in pain, that's a major stressor on your body and takes a lot of mental and emotional energy to get your basic needs met, to feel well. Additionally, it can make it harder to sleep, eat, move your body and take medication. So for that reason, pain often directly impacts emotional well-being. 

Recently, for the last few months, I've been experiencing a lot of physical pain. I'm currently undergoing further testing to find the source of the pain, but the physical pain I've been feeling has definitely impacted my mental health. Currently, I'm a preschool teacher, but I'm on medical leave. Picking up children, bending down all day, sitting on the floor, and other activities that I have to do have all made me feel excruciating amounts of pain. 

Not to mention that I have to have a lot of patience for the kids that I work with, and taking the leave of absence from work made me feel sad, and I felt like I was failing myself and my ability to work and that I was failing the kids I worked with. The pain I was feeling wasn't my fault, but I was still blaming myself for it, and that was tough. 

But when I was still working, one day after work, I was chatting with my supervisor. I thought we were having a small talk, innocuous conversation, but she soon was acting offended about my opinion that I expressed about the Super Bowl halftime show. 
Normally, I would've had the patience to listen to her point of view, but instead I quickly apologized and left feeling very frustrated. All the pain from the day had lessened my ability to be patient with my supervisor and the apparent disagreement that we were having. 

Another way that I guess I would say my chronic pain has impacted me is that it's made me feel misunderstood and some of my newer friendships. I realized in some of my newer friendships, I was starting to become more of a listening ear than an active participant in our friendship, I found myself listening to their endless laundry list of problems without really feeling seen or heard myself. Finally, I was too much pain and I needed comfort myself. 

When I tried to talk about my problems and pain, one friend in particular tried to give me unhelpful advice and then turned the conversation back on her. In a way, this was helpful information for me about the state of our friendship. However, I know that it's also possible that the pain I was in was putting a film over the interaction we had as well. I felt too tired to communicate effectively how I was feeling. I also felt just too tired to try to bridge that communication gap. I wish she understood me, and this led me to feeling frustrated and sad. After that interaction, I texted her to say that I was hurt, but again, I felt misunderstood by her response. I talk more about feeling alone in your pain in Episode 30 about Grief and how pain can be a deeply personal experience. It can be hard to feel seen in. 

A third way my pain has influenced me is that I haven't been able to do all the activities I usually love to do. In addition to the chronic pain, I slipped down the stairs and injured my back. I could no longer lift heavy things including preschool children, and that's the reason I had to take the leave of absence from work. But what was worse is that I couldn't safely walk my dogs. I figured out other options so that my dogs still got the exercise and mental stimulation that they needed, but I felt sad. Walking my dogs is my go-to activity when I'm feeling down, and now I was feeling down and couldn't do my go-to activity to make myself feel better. 
The pain started to cause me to spiral, so I started to take extra steps to take care of myself and find new coping skills. I started journaling in a coffee shop to give myself some social interaction and time to reflect. For example, today at the coffee shop, I briefly chatted to the person sitting across from me who said, I looked like a poet. 
Again, no mention of the pain I was in, but it was a nice and helpful distraction, and it made me feel more connected to humanity. 

Pain can really impact relationships and activities, which can then directly impact your mental health. So what can you do if you're in pain to help yourself and your mental health? First, you can start by making a list of coping stills that you still can do. For example, I can't walk my dogs, but I can journal, read, and make art. 

You can also make a list of people who you feel get you and you feel that you can talk to. If the pain is making you withdraw and not want to talk to others, or you feel you don't currently have those people in your life, you can start to seek out low-stakes social interactions like going to a coffee shop or sitting on a bench in a park. That way you're interacting with people without the additional stress of putting on a performance that you're doing okay. Social interaction can be a good way to boost mental health and the feeling of community, but putting on a performance can make you feel more isolated and alone. So this is a nice middle ground. 

Finally, be easy on yourself. Know that you might need more rest, and that's okay. Resting will not only help you physically, but emotionally as well. Additionally, don't be afraid to ask for help. Seek the advice of doctors for your physical needs and find a good mental health therapist who understands pain and can help you work through your feelings. Advocate for yourself and get the help you need. The medical system can be hard to navigate, but you deserve to get good care and have your needs met.

In this episode, I talked about how physical pain can impact your mental health. I talked about how it can impact your relationships and the activities you can do, and I talked about some of the ways to help cope with that. 

Well, thanks so much for listening. I'm gonna go take a bubble bath now for self-care. Have a good night.