Episode 4: Procrastination

In this episode,

Lizzie dives into procrastination, why it's a natural response, how SMART goals help combat it, and what not to do when struggling with procrastination.

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Post-pod questions to consider

What's something you often procrastinate? Can you come up with a SMART goal and show yourself a little compassion?

Episode Transcript

Hey, you are listening to Midnight Philosopher with Lizzie. Thanks for tuning in. Today, I'm gonna talk about procrastination. I'm sure you all know what it is, but for those of you who don't or who would like a refresher, procrastination is the practice of putting off a task that needs to get done. It can sometimes actually be a trauma response. When you experience a traumatic incident in your body, you might go into one of the four Fs, fight, flight, freeze, or feigned analgesic death. 

Don't worry about the other three for right now. But procrastination can be, I said that weird procrastination that's better can be viewed as a freeze response. Your body is facing the threat of a task and freezes from moving onto that task. It's kind of like, think of like a deer in the headlights. The deer sees the oncoming car, the task, but freezes instead of running away from it. 

That's kind of what your body is doing. When you procrastinate, you feel threatened by this upcoming task, and so your body kind of goes into freeze mode. And I'm a big procrastinator sometimes. 

Yeah, I'd kind of like a medal with that, like big procrastinator. That'd be cool. Anyway, sometimes I'm pretty big procrastinator, especially when it comes to cleaning or doing something. I don't wanna do like an unfavorable task, and I'll tell myself, Lizzie, you have to clean the kitchen before you can do anything else. 

And even I surprised myself how long I can sit on the couch staring into the abyss and not start washing the counter or do a single thing, not take out the trash. Nothing. I can sometimes sit for hours without starting a task. And for me to try to counteract this freeze of my brain, I try to trick myself and give myself a motivation to clean. 

That's not punitive. I don't wanna punish myself because that's not gonna make me clean anymore or any faster. So instead of shaming myself for how dirty my kitchen has gotten, I tell myself that if I clean, then I can have people over, and then I can play a board game and have a good time. And sometimes it helps if I get myself properly motivated, I can kind of fast forward past my freeze response and out of procrastination. 

And that makes sense too. If you can bring yourself back to your thinking brain, then you're more likely to get out of a freeze response. And in terms of my thinking brain, for me, that's motivation that gets me back into my thinking brain. And another time I procrastinate is when I'm feeling anxious. Classic. But it's true. I struggle with social anxiety.

And sometimes when I'm going to a party, my body just reacts as if I'm seeing a big scary bear. And I get stuck in stall mode. I sit in my car listening to music and don't go into the party even if I'm parked literally right outside. But when I'm in that mode, I try to park a few blocks away so people don't see me just sitting in my car. And I try to counteract this procrastination with humor and also motivation again. 

So when I'm coming to a party, I like to bring chips or a snack, especially if I'm coming a little late, because when you bring chips or a snack, people treat you like you're the hero of the party. Thank you so much for saving us with your salty, delightful chips. We were so hungry. Yes, yes. Bow down to me for I am the hero of the party. 

That's kind of the way I like to view it. Like when I bring chips to a party, everybody celebrates. And sometimes people literally clap, honestly. Like sometimes I've brought chips to a party, people have cheered, people have clapped. And that's the kind of welcome I prefer and helps me come over my anxiety is to feel that, you know, that people actually want me at that party. So, you know, I bring some chips and I become the hero of that party.

And to me, obviously, I don't really believe I'm a hero of a party, but it's kind of that sense of humor and that motivation that gets me through the door and gets me into those social events. And another time I procrastinate is when I'm doing paperwork as a therapist, I find paperwork excessively boring and redundant. And I know from my past experiences that if I don't stay on top of my paperwork, it piles up and piles up and piles up, which makes me even less likely to do it. 

So I break it down into something called a SMART goal, which stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. I didn't make this up, someone else did. When I set a SMART goal, they're usually small steps that lead me to a greater achievement. And it's not easy, and I still hate paperwork, but it helps me achieve them. If I say I'm just gonna do two notes for clients today and get those done, and then to do the next step, it's much easier than if I look at my list, I'm like, wow, I have 40 notes for clients that are overdue. So SMART goals are really helpful for that. 

One thing that sometimes gets in the way for me is in procrastination is negative self-talk. And this kind of comes up in the form of thoughts like, you are so lazy, or why can't you just do it already? When these thoughts come up for me, I like to ask the question that my therapist often asks me, are these thoughts helpful? And the truth is, these thoughts are not only unhelpful, they're usually actually quite hurtful. Negative self-talk comes from an internalized voice that you probably got when you were growing up. Maybe the message wasn't necessarily said to you like right out, but sometimes it was implied. 

For example, if you didn't do your homework and your parent maybe implied you were lazy and that's why you didn't do your homework, you might now think that not doing a task is because you're lazy. However, it's really important to remember that there's a reason you're not doing a task. It's not because you're lazy or any other judgmental phrase like that. 

It's just because your body is in freeze mode. And as much as you want to move when your body's in freeze mode, you have to trick yourself out of it. Overall, the freeze response or procrastination gets in the way for me, and I counteract it by finding motivation that works for me, using a sense of humor and making small, attainable, SMART goals. Procrastination is your body's natural response to a perceived threat. And tricking your mind of that out of that fear response with rewards, laughter, and one step at a time is the way to go. 

And also telling yourself kind things when you're procrastinate, procrastinating instead of saying really mean things to yourself. So some things you could say is, in this situation, I would normally say I'm being lazy, but what I actually am thinking right now is that my body is expressing a need. 

What do I need right now? What will help me get out of this freeze mode? And it's not that criticism, it's not being mean to yourself. It's not saying horrible things, it's being really kind, being, understanding. Treat yourself like you would not only treat a friend, but like someone who you really truly loved. Like treat yourself like you wanna say the kindest things to yourself in those moments. Because the more you criticize, the actually kind of repeats the cycle of your body getting in freeze mode. 

Think about it. Criticism is a little bit traumatic. And when you're criticizing yourself, even though it's coming from yourself, your body is still getting that trauma response. So being critical to yourself in those moments is not gonna snap your body out of that trauma response. So the key is kindness. Well, thanks so much for listening. I'm gonna go sit in my car in stall mode now. Have a great night.