Episode 32: How to Find Your Purpose

In this episode,

Lizzie shares some examples of struggling to find her purpose, where she has felt a sense of purpose, and how you can find yours.

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Post-pod questions to consider

What values do you hold that you feel align with your purpose? Are there ways you can continue to grow toward your purpose?

Episode Transcript

Hey, you're listening to Midnight Philosopher with Lizzie. Thanks for tuning in. 

Today, I'm going to talk about finding a purpose. There are often moments in life where people feel directionless, adrift, looking for meaning and purpose. People have different thoughts about their purpose. Sometimes it can come from beliefs such as religion or astrology, and sometimes a purpose comes from within wherever to come from. It seems to be the candle in the dark that keeps people going through life, even when life becomes a dark tunnel or scary cave. Having a clear purpose can be helpful for people in moments of fear and despair. 

I have worked on finding my purpose on several occasions, and this is especially important for me because in here, I wanna insert a trigger warning that I'm going to talk about suicidal ideation. I've often felt that my life lacked a purpose and that I lacked any significance at all, that if I disappeared, no one would notice. These thoughts, of course, were not true. Everyone impacts the world and others in some way or another, whether they're aware of it or not. 

I thought of moments that have impacted me. The other people probably didn't even register. One time I was crying in the food court at a train station in New York, and crying is an understatement. I was sobbing. I believed I was invisible, and everyone around me was ignoring me. A kind man sitting next to me looked at me and asked, are you okay? I lied to him and said, my boyfriend broke up with me when really I was sad about my mom as this was soon after her death. That man probably doesn't know, but I still think of that moment nearly ten years later. That man impacted me and probably doesn't even realize it, but for the first time in what felt like a while, I had felt seen, and that is what I mean. Maybe that man has felt directionless in his life, but I am grateful for that stranger every day. 

And one day I saw a stranger sobbing in CVS. She had the same lonely look, and I paid it forward. I asked her if she was okay, and she looked so relieved to be seen. We chatted briefly, and at the end I said, I'll be thinking of her and wishing her well. And that is when I realized the purpose in my life is to help people feel seen, truly seen, and it was all inspired by the stranger in the train station and the impact he had on me, whether he knows it or not. 

Another time I tried to find purpose is when I felt overwhelming, overwhelming waves of loneliness. I have lots of friends and family who care about me, which I'm very grateful for, but sometimes I still spiral. I live alone and often think how no one would even realize if I was gone. However, I have four wonderful pets 
And they've not to be dramatic saved my life on many occasions. Even if I get close to the edge of suicidal thinking, I know that my girls, that's what I call them, need me. Each of them needs me for their own reason, and I give them a great life, and I want be there for them because there's no one who has the relationship with them that I do. And that helps me feel a sense of purpose having this, this close to connection with these creatures that rely on me. I feel purpose in this relation to other creatures, and I've come to accept that it's okay, that purpose can be part of a community and not just as an individual. 

And the third time I've tried to find my purpose was when I thought I wanted to write a memoir. I still might do this, but I attempted to get a master's in fine arts and creative writing. At 23, people said I was too young to write a memoir, and I wanted to tell them that they had no idea what I'd been through. I don't necessarily think I was too young per se, but it just wasn't the right time. I was thrown in the middle of despair over the death of my mom and one of my brothers getting lost in his illness of schizophrenia. 

But even though writing in that way didn't stick, I have always had this innate urge to create, whether it's writing or making art, or doing improv. And for me, creativity gives my life purpose. How cool and beautiful is it to make something that wasn't there before to make the world a more beautiful and interesting place? 

Finding a purpose can feel difficult, especially if you're depressed or in the wake of tragedy. I'd encourage you to think of moments people impacted you and you didn't even realize, and then turn it around. You've been that person who's impacted someone and you didn't even realize, and that has inherently given your life a purpose and impact. 

Having and finding a purpose is a very personal journey. Sometimes it's thinking about what's important to you and what you value. Other times, it's noticing how your existence impacts yourself, others, and the world around you. Some things you can ask yourself are, what do I value? What's important to me? What impact do I wanna have on myself, on others, on the world around me? 

Purpose is such an individual thing for me. It's creativity and caring about my animals and trying to make people feel seen. But for somebody else, they can have a wildly different purpose. Their purpose might be to save the environment or to build a really cool Lego set. Whatever someone's purpose is, it's not for anybody to judge because it's what gives people hope. 

Sometimes some people believe that they don't need a purpose. Some people are okay thinking that they don't have a purpose, and that's okay too. Sometimes you don't, quote unquote, need a purpose to still have a fulfilling life. It's just a different philosophy and way of looking at things. Personally, I like having a purpose. It makes me feel like I have a direction to go in, but other people like and value having the spontaneity and freedom to be directionless, and that's okay too. 

Additionally, sometimes people find a purpose or meaning through either religion or astrology or another ideology, and that's okay too. However you find your purpose in life, as long as it what's feels true to you and your values, then that's great. And so start to look in pockets of the world for things you value. Start to realize that everybody, every single human life makes an impact and difference in some way or another. 

And even if you don't necessarily see the impact you're making you, I guarantee you're making one. No matter what your background is, who you are, you are. You've influence somebody's life in a positive way at least once, probably a lot more than that, and those moments you can start to collect and start to use as a purpose for yourself. 

In this episode, I talked about finding your purpose. I talked about strengthening your observational skills and noticing who has impacted you, and then spinning it around and noticing how you might've impacted others. I talked about how finding a purpose is a very personal journey based on your own values or the impact you've had, and I've talked about that it's a very individual journey, finding that purpose of yours. 

Well, thanks so much for listening tonight. I'm gonna go list some of my values now, follow me on Instagram @TheMidnightPhilosopher. Have a good night.