Episode 48: How to Overcome Stage Fright and Master Public Speaking

In this episode,

Lizzie dives into public speaking, overcoming stage fright, and finding your voice.

Listen now

Listen on Spotify

Post-pod questions to consider

Do you struggle with public speaking? What techniques help you feel more confident?

Episode Transcript

Hey, you're listening to Midnight Philosopher with Lizzie. Thanks for tuning in. 

Today, I'm going to talk about mental health and public speaking in any form, whether that's the performing arts or improv, or leading a meeting for work. Public speaking can often trigger anxiety and fear in many people. This is also known as stage fright. Stage fright often is a fear of judgment of those watching or listening. And a fear of judgment is a survival mechanism which was originally used to keep us within a group. This feeling of shame originated to keep us safe. For more on shame, check out Episode One. 

However, this shame in the case of public speaking isn't helpful, but can actually impact your performance. Shame in this case often triggers anxiety, which can trigger profuse sweating, shaking, or even feeling physically sick. Stage fright can be very scary, but there are ways to overcome it. And one of those might be exposure therapy, which is a type of therapy where you do something over and over again gradually to get yourself more used to what's happening, to slowly face your fears. Because when someone is anxious, they often tend to avoid situations. However, the more you public speak, the better you'll probably get at it. 

I used to experience a great deal of stage fright. I produced a show called Lizzie Talks, which was based off of TED Talks. And to hear my Lizzie Talk, you can check out Episode 38, You Are Not Your Diagnosis. I felt a lot of fear in producing the show and speaking in front of people. What if I wasn't good enough? What if what I had to say wasn't interesting? What if no one came to the show? What if? What if? What if? 

These thoughts and fears were part of my process for preparing for the show because I was getting in my own way and I was thinking of all the worst possible outcomes. But when I did actually perform, the process of performing helped me realize that my words had impact and meaning. And I got feedback from people who listened to my talk. And the people said that they felt that they understood my perspective more, which made me feel in turn more understood. 

Performance art has the ability to change other people's perspectives and also your own. And it can also help people feel more understood and in place. So while there's the fear of stage fright and the fear of being ostracized from a group of people, public speaking actually has the ability to make you more part of the group. And so while I felt anxious, the positive outcomes of my talk outweighed the negative feelings. 

And I can use this information to encourage me for the next couple times. I can remember that speaking in public has a big impact on people, what I have to say is important, and remembering that what I have to say is important can outweigh those negative feelings and my fears. 

Additionally, I've learned to face my fear of public speaking by reminding myself of some of the skills that I've learned to enhance my public speaking. In improv, there's always a host of the show who has to speak as themselves in front of the audience. And from doing this, while I was terrified, I learned to build confidence in myself standing on stage. 

People want to hear what I have to say, and I definitely wasn't comfortable being on stage or public speaking overnight. But I set little goals for myself and gradually over time became better and better. I kept doing improv, I kept speaking in public, and I started to gain confidence and clarity in my voice. And the more I practiced public speaking and the more exposure therapy I did to do it, it got easier and easier and easier. 

Finally, when I first started doing improv, I was very scared of performing. I felt my palms sweat and my heart start to race, which are natural feelings of anxiety. I practiced using grounding skills. For more on this, you can check out Episode 25. I did some deep breathing to calm my nervous system and I practiced positive self talk. 

So how can performance arts or public speaking impact you? And how can you overcome the fear of stage fright? First of all, if you don't have access to improv or a theater or public speakers, that's okay. There's plenty of content on YouTube and other streaming services that you can watch. And by watching performance arts, you can start to learn by example. You can start to become more comfortable and confident with the idea of public speaking. And you can start to see from professionals what tends to work and what doesn't. You can start to think about what you would want to do in your style of public speaking and what would work for you and what might not. The more you watch public speaking, the more comfortable you'll become with it. 

Secondly, if you don't want to do performing arts or can't for various reasons, you can start to practice public speaking by making your everyday conversations more intentional. You can take concepts from the performing arts and apply them to your everyday conversations to get you in the practice of saying your thoughts and feelings in front of someone. Some of these concepts include point of view, yes-anding, and and being supportive of your scene partner or the other person in the conversation. 

And these are all skills that translate to conversations. You can try to see the other person's point of view. You can acknowledge what the other person has said or yes-and them, and then add more information to the conversation. And you can always try to be on the same team as the other person, no matter what the content of the conversation is about. 

Being intentional with your conversations will help you bring awareness to your words, which will help you become comfortable being aware of what you're saying and the awareness that while the shame of public speaking may be there, what you have to say is useful, is important, and is valuable. Believing in the words you say will help give you the courage to speak in public. 

And let's say you do want to practice public speaking, but you're not sure how to start or it terrifies you. You can practice making speeches and saying them out loud to yourself in the mirror. For example, I've gotten so much better from doing public speaking from doing the podcast just by speaking out loud. The more you speak out loud and believe in what you have to say, the easier public speaking will become. Practicing public speaking will help it become easier and easier. 

And if you're feeling anxious, you can try to stand in a power pose, such as putting your hands on your hips. And this pose can trick your mind into believing that you feel that you are in charge and that you are calm and ready to face what you have to do. You can also take deep breaths to calm your nervous system. 

And you can practice positive self talk. Saying things like, you've got this. I believe in you. What you have to say is important and valuable. You're going to do great. Just giving yourself a pep talk and reminding yourself that you can do it can help release the purpose of shame and help you figure out how it's not helpful to have shame in these circumstances, how it's actually helpful to face your fears through exposure therapy, one step at a time. 

In this episode, I talked about the performing arts, including improv and public speaking. And I talked about stage fright. I talked about how you can learn new perspectives from watching performing arts. And I talked about how you can gain skills that help in everyday conversations. I talked about how even if performing or watching performing arts doesn't interest you, you can be more intentional with your everyday conversations. I also talked about how anxiety and shame get in the way of stage fright and some skills to try to counteract that stage fright. 

Well, thanks so much for listening tonight. I'm going to go have some intentional conversations with strangers now to increase my confidence. Have a good night.